6 Tips for Overcoming Caregiver Stress & Guilt
by Diane Carbo
Caring for elderly parents as well as their own family many aging
baby boomers find they are stressed and dealing with guilt.
Overcoming caregiver stress and the guilt feelings that often
accompanies the role of one person taking care of another is
possible.
Guilt is a feeling of perceived failure. This failure may come in
the form of expectations we set for ourselves or what we perceive
are the expectations that others have set for us. Our response to
these feelings of perceived failure affects our decisions and our
actions. Guilt, in any form is detrimental to any relationship.
When caring for another individual, guilt presents itself to us on
many different levels. Along with guilty feelings, there are
feelings of anger, frustration, resentment and sadness. Many
individuals torment themselves with unrealistic expectations and
worry trying to anticipate every possible need.
Others find themselves dealing with the disappointment and
frustration of uninvolved and uninterested siblings or extended
family members Still others find guilt stemming from sadness and
fear of losing someone very close to them. They second guess
themselves into believing that if they had paid attention sooner,
or did something different their aging senior's condition would be
different. What ever the reasons for guilt, they take away from all
the good a care giver does.
Guilt can mentally and emotionally imprison a person into making
poor decisions or becoming totally immobilized to make any
decision. Some individuals are more inclined to feel guilty than
others. Learning to manage guilt is imperative for the physical and
emotional well being of the care giver as well as the aging senior
that are providing care.
Here are six tips for dealing with guilt and overcoming caregiver
stress:
1. The first step to overcoming guilt is to acknowledge that is a
feeling you are experiencing. There are many other feelings that go
along with guilt such as sadness, anger, frustration and
resentment. If you can acknowledge that you are having these
feelings, you can begin to see things from a different perspective.
If you have identified and acknowledged you have these negative
feelings, take time to identify what is causing you to have these
feelings. Are you angry and resentful that you siblings do not
pitch in and offer assistance? Do you feel that your life is not
your own? Are you afraid that you are loosing someone close to you?
Maybe you feel guilty because you wish you did not have to care for
the aging seniors in your life. Many feel that they cannot do
enough to or are the opposite and resentful that they have to do
anything at all.
2. Have you considered your needs and wants? This is a very
important step for every care giver to realize. The caregiver needs
are just as important as the person for which they are providing
care and support. Caregivers feel guilty that they have needs. Many
feel that their needs are not as important as their aging senior.
This thought can be a big culprit and be the root cause of dealing
with guilt and caregiver stress.
3. A care giver must come to realize and accept that unless they
take care of themselves and take action to meet their own needs,
eventually they become ineffective as a care giver.
4. Learn to be kind and patient with yourself. You are going to
have your good days and your bad days. Allow yourself to feel the
negative feelings. Realize that your feelings do not have to
control your actions. With practice, over time, the guilt feelings
will subside.
5. Acknowledge you have needs and take action to get those needs
met. It is OK to have some "me" time. In fact it is necessary. Give
yourself permission to be selfish at times.
6. Ask for help from others or accept help when it is offered. If
you have uninvolved siblings investigate other avenues through the
local church, community program or aging and adult services.
Explore options to get some free time.
Aging baby boomers caring for elderly parents must realize that
guilt is an emotion that comes with the role of caregiver. Dealing
with guilt and overcoming caregiver stress can be accomplished by
taking time to meet your own needs. Caregivers need to focus on the
good that they achieve everyday and the improved quality of life
they bring to the aging senior in their life. With this perspective
guilt will never be an issue.
Diane Carbo is a Registered Nurse with more than 35 years in the
nursing field. Visit her web site
http://www.aginghomehealthcare.com/caregiver_stress.html
and learn more about caregiver stress and the feeling of guilt.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Diane_Carbo | 